The Palo Alto Chamber of Commerce is looking into changing the city's name to HI-DEF FULL-DIGITAL AMPLIFICATION
Welcome to beautiful Palo Alto! [slow motion hair flip]
Here in Palo Alto [slow motion hair flip] we believe that sound should not merely be heard, it should constitute the basis of the rest of your life. So we've had Cubik digital speakers installed in every square inch of our fair city. Our city being Palo Alto. [slow motion hair flip]
This has caused a fair amount of uproar from the citizens of Palo Alto [slow motion hair flip] who don't think fatty beats should be pumped into streets at all hours. We have asked those citizens to calm down and take a chill pill, then we offer them a chill pill, and when they refuse we put chill pills in their water supply.
What those "people" don't realize is that Cubik's full-digital soundscape is necessary to enhance their boring lives and make Palo Alto [slow motion hair flip] the rockinest town in the US of A. We have applied to be The Rockinest Town in the US of A for the past 16 years and never won. It's always Iowa City. Well no more. DO YOU HEAR ME, IOWA CITY? NO. MORE.
[takes chill pill]
Anyway. Welcome to Palo Alto. [slow motion hair flip]