Today's Woot Write-up

Setting: The Bridge. CAPTAIN and the crew.

CAPTAIN: Well, crew, this is it. Our chance to explore the galaxy.

They all put their hands on a Samsung Galaxy Tablet

1ST OFFICER: It feels...flat.

CAPTAIN: Good! Good. What else? Anyone else?

2ND OFFICER: It's white.

CAPTAIN: Very good! Now we're getting somewhere.

3RD OFFICER: I'm the 3rd officer.

CAPTAIN: Fantastic! I've got goose bumps. [shows everyone]

1ST OFFICER: Gross.

2ND OFFICER: Captain, I have a question.

CAPTAIN stares at 2ND OFFICER for an exorbitantly long time

CAPTAIN: Does that answer your question?

2ND OFFICER: I think so.

3RD OFFICER: Captain, I also have a question but I never learned the upward inflection required for a question mark.

CAPTAIN: Ok.

3RD OFFICER: Why are we on a bridge.

CAPTAIN stares at 3RD OFFICER for a super humungo long-ass awkward time

CAPTAIN: Sorry, that was your question, right?

3RD OFFICER: Yes.

CAPTAIN: Well, the bridge is where the science happens.

3RD OFFICER: I understand, but this one is over a ravine. On Earth. Not in space.

CAPTAIN: ...

3RD OFFICER: And we're feeling up a Samsung tablet.

CAPTAIN: ...

1ST OFFICER: Captain?

CAPTAIN: Sorry everyone, blacked out for a moment. What was your ques--

The End

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