Canon Printers
You know that fanfic you wrote where The Doctor met the cast of Sliders? Doesn't count, they say. Not canonical. BUT WAIT! Get a Canon printer and your work is now canon by default! That's right! It applies to everything, from the happiest Star Trek/Steven Universe crossover to your Laugh-In 2027 pilot. Don't waste time debating what's real and what's not. Get a Canon and make it canon!