bestsportnascar


quality posts: 48 Private Messages bestsportnascar
kenney9226 wrote:"I just realized that today is 2/4/16! Two squared is four, and four squared is sixteen! 2-4-16, get it? Pretty cool, eh? It's like each number is the squared number of the number before it in the date today. I mean, that's gotta be special or something, right?"



If pie day is something square day should be too!

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"My calves got bigger, so things fit better."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

Guy #1: "Dude, what happened to your head?"

Guy #2: "Nothing, it's just my birthmark."

Guy #1: "Really? I mean, it looks like somebody just knocked you really hard on the side of your head."

Guy #2: "Nah, I've always had it. I just usually wear a hat."

Guy #1: "Oh. Then why do you shave your head?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"HOLY COW ARE THOSE THIN MINTS?!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"What are you cooking? it smells dead."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"When I grabbed it, it was a lot softer than I thought it would be."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"You know I can't bend over, why did you call me over here to ask me that?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Well, I had a hemorrhoid surgically removed last week..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"e.g. is for examples, and i.e. is specific."

"i.e. is pacific."

"specific."

"pacific."

"SPECIFIC."

"..."

"...pacific."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Marcus, you continue to be a pain in my ass."

marlenestclair


quality posts: 16 Private Messages marlenestclair
kenney9226 wrote:"Marcus, you continue to be a pain in my ass."



is this the same person who had the hemorrhoid surgery?

x14


kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"What's THAT you just minimized?!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"You totally need to start chewing Chick Fil-A ice. It's soft ice."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Juanita, Kenny's making fart noises with his hands over here."

"Well, that's okay, as long as he isn't actually doing it!"

"I think sometimes he sneaks in some real ones..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I used to drink a lot of coffee for the caffeine, but my doctor told me to cut out the caffeine, so I started eating salt & vinegar potato chips instead..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Oh, things like this always happen when you can't bend over."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I really need to pull down my pants."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I hope you have terrible gas for the rest of the night."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"What do you think would happen first, would I gain a hundred pounds or would I have a heart attack?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Mark, am I going to have to bring out the Lysol?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Do you want it lean or juicy?"

"Do you even have to ask? Juicy! Please!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"To the best of my recollection, I have never inappropriately touched a woman's shirt."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I want to buy a pool boy, so he can bring me pina coladas."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Thanks for the clarification. I'm glad to know that I was right. Again."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"She ain't gonna learn until they be shootin' her up with insulin at seven months!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"You two were doing this exact same thing when I came to see you yesterday! She was telling you about her dog and you were putting lotion on your toes!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I can plank, and I can do girl pushups, but I can't to regular pushups."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Let me go use the bathroom, I can handle only so much excitement."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"What's that you're rustling in your pocket? CANDY?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"This tip isn't wood. It'd be painful, but I'd be able to pull it right out."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"If I wanna do it, I'm gonna do it!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Here, give me your hand. Come here, put your hand over here and feel this. It's pretty big, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah. Wow, that's big. Deep, too."

"Yeah, it's really deep."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Your double chin isn't nearly as big as you think it is."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I'm going to the dentist next week, so I guess I'll be flossing this weekend."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Turns out I just don't like chicken breasts. There's no way I can cook them to make them taste good to me."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"You should absolutely not get a tattoo. Ever. Unless it's one of those moustaches on the side of your finger so you can do that finger moustache thing. That's the only tattoo you should ever get."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"That makes me want to pull my dang old hair out, and I ain't got no dang old hair on my head!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Oh, boy, and now I'm getting a hot flash!"

hot72chev


quality posts: 28 Private Messages hot72chev
kenney9226 wrote:"Oh, boy, and now I'm getting a hot flash!"



Kenney's been eavesdropping outside my cubicle again!

x12
It seemed like a good idea at the time.

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Oh, yeah, I can slip it in there."