Power-on your Samsung Smart TV and watch some hot new shows or else we'll replace your wardrobe with a horse.

King of Pencils
Professional card player and pencil enthusiast Trent Boomstick has never had a losing streak in his 136-year career (he's Elven) until now. Suddenly he can't win a hand, his house has disappeared, and all his shoes have turned into marmots. What could have brought on this string of bad luck? Perhaps the five-leaf clover that's been following him around? Or maybe the bad luck dragon that he went home with last week? Or maybe the late-night drunken purchase of 54 cases of bad luck pills? Whichever it was, Trent won't give up getting to the bottom of this until he gets to the bottom of it, at which point he will give up (SPOILER).

Stuck On Stuck
Shonda Stuck has lived her life in the shadow of her older sisters Shondar, Shondoo, Shondre, Shondarms, and her brother Shon. But When Shonda decides to glue herself to the Walterthon national monument — a large and inexplicable statue of a goat with two heads riding a unicorn with four butts — she captures the attention of the whole nation. Shonda becomes an icon, but is the media frenzy, friendships lost, and family strain worth getting permanently glued to a huge piece of rock? Sadly, no, but the opening credits theme song is very terrible.

Ducks!
Who doesn’t love ducks? You might not after watching this show about ducks that murder scores and scores of mammals. The government bred a duck that can kill with a quack, and now they’ve multiplied and were set free by the 100% insane scientists that made them. After wiping out the world’s populations of all living things including plant life and dirt, they build a spaceship and destroy other worlds in other solar systems. Who will stop these murderous mallards? Well, no one, everyone’s dead. This show has just been renewed for 30 more seasons.

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