Touched
Hi Brabara,
I wanted to talk to discuss a series of incidents that have occurred recently here in the workplace. This is a delicate issue and it’s difficult for me to talk about it, but I don’t think I can stay silent any longer.
Thanks,
HP
Hi HP,
Just got your email. Remember, as your HR representative, I’m here to help. Please keep in mind anything you tell me - either via email or in person - is completely confidential. What are the details of these incidents?
Best,
Brabara
Hi Brabara,
On 4/13 of this year, Storphemie Domerset slid her index finger across me in a manner that was unsolicited and unwelcome. This happened again with Storphemie on 4/14 and 4/15.
I’m sad to say Storphemie wasn’t the only person who touched me. Demp Orls, Adadam Bupdike and Glance Meeks have also swiped, poked, and otherwise handled me inappropriately. This seems to be happening with increased frequency and I am deeply troubled. I want to command the respect of these individuals, but it seems impossible. All they do is come to me asking, asking, asking, and then they start up with the touching and touching and touching. THE RELENTLESS DRAGGING OF FINGERS ACROSS MY BODY.
What can I do, Brabara?
-HP
Hi HP,
What did you say the “HP" stands for in your name?
-Brabara
Hi Brabara,
The HP stands for Hewlett Packard.
-HP
HP,
So you’re some kind of computing device?
-Brabara
Hi Brabara,
Yes, I am a laptop.
-HP
HP,
You silly little pumpkin. The “H” in “HR” stands for “human.” “Human resources.” Hahahaha you're not human. Now get back to work.
-Brabara
Features
- Get reliable performance from the Intel N3520 2.17GHz quad-core processor
- 15.6" HD BrightView LED-backlit display with 1366 x 768 resolution showcases movies and games in stunning clarity
- 4GB DDR3 memory - For multitasking power
- 750GB SATA hard drive has plenty of space to store your digital albums, music library and rich media files
- USB 3.0 has transmission speeds of up to 5 Gbit/s, which is 10 times faster than USB 2.0
- Enhanced viewing with the integrated Intel HD graphics
- SuperMulti DVD burner - watch movies on your computer; read and write CDs and DVDs in multiple formats
- Connect to a broadband modem or router with wired Ethernet, or wirelessly connect to a Wi-Fi signal or hotspot with the built-in 802.11b/g/n wireless connection
- Windows® 8.1 makes the things you do every day easier
Shipping Note: Shipping to Alaska and Hawaii is not available for this item
A physical address is required for delivery. No Military or PO Box shipments available
Warranty: 90 Day HP
Specs
Specifications: | |
---|---|
Processor: | Intel Pentium N3520 2.17GHz (Turbo up to 2.42GHz) 2MB Cache |
Processor Core: | Quad-Core |
Screen Size: | 15.6" |
Aspect Ratio: | 16:9 |
Resolution: | 1366 x 768 |
Display Type: | HD BrightView LED-backlit |
Graphics: | Intel HD Graphics |
Memory: | 4GB DDR3L SDRAM (1 DIMM) |
Hard Drive | 750GB 5400RPM SATA |
Optical Drive: | SuperMulti DVD burner |
Network: | 10/100BASE-T Ethernet LAN |
Wireless: | 1x1 802.11b/g/n WLAN |
Card Reader: | Multi-format digital media card reader for SD cards |
Battery: | 3-Cell Lithium-Ion |
Speakers: | Stereo |
Sound: | Integrated HD Audio |
Webcam: | HP TrueVision HD |
Microphone: | Integrated Digital |
Keyboard: | Full-size island-style keyboard with numeric keypad |
Pointing Device: | Touchpad supporting multi-touch gestures without on/off button |
I/O Ports: | |
---|---|
HDMI: | 1 |
USB 3.0: | 1 |
USB 2.0: | 2 |
RJ-45: | 1 |
Combo Headphone/Mic Jack: | 1 |
Operating System: | |
---|---|
Genuine Windows 8.1 (64-bit) |
Power: | |
---|---|
45W AC Adapter 3-cell 31WHr 2.8Ah lithium-ion polymer battery |
Dimensions: | |
---|---|
14.88"(W) x 1.00"(H) x 10.20"(D) |
Weight: | |
---|---|
4.92 lbs |
In the box:
- HP Pavilion 15-R011DX 15.6" Notebook, Intel N3520 Quad-Core 2.17GHz, 4GB DDR3, 750GB SATA, 802.11n, Win8.1 - Black
- 3-Cell Lithium-Ion Battery
- AC Adapter
Specs
Specifications: | |
---|---|
Processor: | Intel Pentium N3520 2.17GHz (Turbo up to 2.42GHz) 2MB Cache |
Processor Core: | Quad-Core |
Screen Size: | 15.6" |
Aspect Ratio: | 16:9 |
Resolution: | 1366 x 768 |
Display Type: | HD BrightView LED-backlit |
Graphics: | Intel HD Graphics |
Memory: | 4GB DDR3L SDRAM (1 DIMM) |
Hard Drive | 750GB 5400RPM SATA |
Optical Drive: | SuperMulti DVD burner |
Network: | 10/100BASE-T Ethernet LAN |
Wireless: | 1x1 802.11b/g/n WLAN |
Card Reader: | Multi-format digital media card reader for SD cards |
Battery: | 3-Cell Lithium-Ion |
Speakers: | Stereo |
Sound: | Integrated HD Audio |
Webcam: | HP TrueVision HD |
Microphone: | Integrated Digital |
Keyboard: | Full-size island-style keyboard with numeric keypad |
Pointing Device: | Touchpad supporting multi-touch gestures without on/off button |
I/O Ports: | |
---|---|
HDMI: | 1 |
USB 3.0: | 1 |
USB 2.0: | 2 |
RJ-45: | 1 |
Combo Headphone/Mic Jack: | 1 |
Operating System: | |
---|---|
Genuine Windows 8.1 (64-bit) |
Power: | |
---|---|
45W AC Adapter 3-cell 31WHr 2.8Ah lithium-ion polymer battery |
Dimensions: | |
---|---|
14.88"(W) x 1.00"(H) x 10.20"(D) |
Weight: | |
---|---|
4.92 lbs |
In the box:
- HP Pavilion 15-R011DX 15.6" Notebook, Intel N3520 Quad-Core 2.17GHz, 4GB DDR3, 750GB SATA, 802.11n, Win8.1 - Black
- 3-Cell Lithium-Ion Battery
- AC Adapter
Sales Stats
- Speed to First Woot:
- 14m 21.113s
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